That Don't Impress Me Much
by MelissaBrittany
Summary: Based on the song "That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain


**Just a cute little story about what the BAU ladies think about the BAU men. Based on the song "That Don't Impress Me much" by Shania Twain. We own nothing!**

**That Don't Impress Me Much**

**Reid-**

_I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart  
>But you've got being right down to an art<br>You think you're a genius, you drive me up the wall  
>You're a regular original, a "knowitall"<em>

_Ohwooh, you think you're special  
>Ohwooh, you think you're something else<em>

_Ok, so you're a rocket scientist..._

_That don't impress me much!  
>So you got the brains, but have you got the touch?<br>(Now) Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright  
>But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night<br>That don't impress me much!_

J.J., Emily and Garcia were sitting in J.J.'s office talking about Henry's 3rd birthday party, and how cute he looked in his little party hat.

Then Reid walked into J.J.'s office. The three women looked up and smiled.

"Hey Spence." Said J.J.

"Hi. Well have you guys seen the case file on The Boston Reaper?" He asked.

"Yeah, it's right here." J.J. said, handing it to him. "What do you need it for? You know every detail about it."

"I need to refresh on the events, I haven't read it in 5 years, I can't remember the name of his 3rd victim." He said.

"Wow Reid." Said Garcia, laughing.

"What?" He asked very confused.

"There's not going to be a quiz on the names of his victims, you don't need to study." Emily said with a smile.

Reid rolled his eyes and left muttering about why he even said anything to them.

"Wow." Emily said.

"He should've been a scientist not a profiler." Said J.J..

"He'd be one sexy scientist." Said Garcia jokingly.

**Morgan-**

_I never knew a guy who carried a mirror in his pocket  
>And a comb up his sleeve, just in case<br>And all that extra hold gel in your hair ought'a lock it  
>'Cause Heaven prevent, it should fall outta place<em>

_Ohwooh, you think you're special  
>Ohwooh, you think you're something else<em>

_Ok, so you're Brad Pitt..._

_That don't impress me much!  
>So you got the looks but have you got the touch?<br>(Now) Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright  
>But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night<br>That don't impress me much!_

Later that day, Emily, J.J. and Garcia were in Garcia's office looking at pictures of the BAU men.

Spencer had his usual hair, Hotch was goth, and Morgan had HAIR! And not just short hair, but hair down to his mid-back.

The girls were laughing hysterically at the picture when all of a sudden the one and only Derek Morgan walked into the room.

"What are you girls looking at?" He asked, then he saw the screen.

"Don't feel bad Morgan, the 80's were never good for anyone." J.J. said.

"At least you still had your body." Garcia said winking.

"I was the best looking man in my school!" he protested.

"Sure you were." Emily said smirking.

"Did you carry a mirror with you every where you went?" Garcia asked.

"Of matter of fact I did! You have to be on top of your game to look that good, Baby Girl." He said.

The three girls bust into laughter as Morgan left the room.

**Hotch-**

_You're one of those guys who likes to shine's machine  
>You make me take off my shoes before you let me get in<br>I can't believe you kiss your car good night  
>C'mon baby tell me, you must be joking, right?<em>

_Ohwooh, you think you're special  
>Ohwooh, you think you're something else<em>

_Ok, so you got a car..._

_That don't impress me much!  
>So you got the moves, but have you got the touch?<br>Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright  
>But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night<em>

_But that won't keep me warm on the long, cold lonely night  
>That don't impress me much!<em>

The next day, Garcia, J.J. and Emily arrived at the BAU from their annual trip to Starbucks when they saw Hotch with a cloth wiping the smallest scratch any of the women had every seen.

They walked up to him.

"What are you doing?" Emily asked.

"There's a scratch." He grunted.

"You can hardly see it." J.J. said.

"My car has to look perfect, now if you excuse me ladies, I need to go get some wax." He said walking away.

"Wow." J.J. said

"No kidding, and I thought Kevin was bad." Garcia said.

The girls laughed and went inside.

_Ok, so what do you think... you're Elvis or something...  
>That don't impress me much!<em>

When the girls got inside they stopped in their tracks and listened…

From inside his office you could hear Gideon singing some Elvis song.

"Oh yea," J.J. said. "This is going to be a good day."

**Thanks for the reviews for our other story. Review this one, we really appreciate it! Happy reading!**


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